Archive for January, 2007

In Soviet Russia, movie watches YOU!

One of the guys at my work is a hard-core Asian movie fan. Action, horror, drama, if you ask him, Asia has us beat. He’s nearly obsessed. As a result, I’ve seen quite a few of these movies myself. I do enjoy a few of them, but I must admit, the majority of them I just find weird. In fact, I thought they were some of the weirdest movies ever made. I realized that this opinion was flawed, however, by a limited scope. ‘Cause I tell ya, they ain’t got nothing on Russia.
Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor) is the biggest movie to come out of Russia since the fall of the Soviet Union. With a budget equaling approximately $4.2 million US, it opened in its homeland against “Return of the King” and won. It is (loosely) based on a series of novels by Sergey Lukyanenko about a man who is caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil. It’s already even spawned a sequel (yet to be delivered to US shores) with a third movie in production. After such a huge success, it was no surprise when Fox Searchlight bought the rights to distribute internationally. Unfortunately, for reasons only known to them, Fox dropped the ball (some say intentionally) in advertising before giving it initially only a limited release. By the time it went wide a few months later, few noticed. In fact, in my neck of the woods, I believe AMC Easton was the only theatre to carry it, and they only had it for a week or two.
The movie version of Night Watch tells the story of Anton Gorodetsky who goes to a so-called witch after his wife walks out on him for another man. The witch promises him that she can make his wife come back, but warns that she is carrying her lovers child and that it will eventually draw her away once again. The only way to get her back for good is by killing the unborn child with a curse. With only a moment’s hesitation, Anton agrees, but begins to develop cold feet midway through the ceremony. He tries to stop her, but she is too far gone by this point. The curse is only stopped by three mysterious figures who appeared out of nowhere who displayed amazing powers including turning into wild animals. Anton soon learns of the ancient struggle between good and evil Others. Others are wizards, witches, shape shifters, vampires, and all other various forms of enchanted humans. Hundreds of years ago, the two sides clashed in one epic battle that threatened to destroy the entire world. Seeing that both of their forces were evenly matched, they called a truce and set down a set of laws that would allow them to coexist in fragile peace. The Light Others formed the Night Watch to make sure the Dark Others followed the law and the Dark Others formed the Day Watch to make sure the Light Others did the same. And so, they held the peace. It was prophesized, though, that an all powerful Other would one day come that would throw the balance in favor of whoever he joined. (No side could force an Other to join them, they had to make the choice on their own.)
Years later, Anton is a member of Night Watch on the case of two vampires wanted for violating the law by attempting to drain a young boy without a license. (The Dark Others are actually allowed to do certain evil acts as long as they get permission.) As he tries to save the boy, he meets a young woman who has fallen victim of a curse that affects everyone around her. Now it’s up to him to save the child from hungry vampires, break the woman’s curse that’s grown the Apocalyptic proportions, and to evade the Day Watch for killing a vampire in self defense.
Night Watch was advertised here in the States as a Russian Matrix with Vampires. This is only partially true. It dose have the same dark and gritty tone as the original Matrix and it dose feature a couple of vampires, though not all Dark Others are necessarily vampires. Really, this movie is something else entirely. One challenging but ultimately rewarding aspect of the movie is that, being Russian, it escapes a lot of the usual trappings of your average American action film. The first thing I noticed were the actors. After seeing film after film staring the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I had some difficulty at first accepting Konstantin Khabensky (Anton) as the hero. Looking less like Neo and more like that annoying emo kid who THINKS he’s Neo, even his character is a sad, pathetic, looser. He never says a catch phrase, he doesn’t even begin to handle himself in a fight, and he’s about as lucky with the ladies as a dead fish. And he’s the cool one! (I’ve always joked that I look like Hurley on Lost, but I think one of the Night Watch guys may have him beat.)
It wasn’t until my second viewing of the film, however, that I realized how refreshing this actually was. The actors were chosen for /gasp/ their acting skills instead of their looks! And, dare I say it, it made them … identifiable! It actually made this world full of magic and vampires seem real. Somewhere, Joel Shumaker just had a stroke.
And, beyond the actors, this movie is just different from ours in the way it was made. It’s heavy with symbolism and relies on a style unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. This is where a lot of the true weirdness comes in, which I find nearly impossible to describe. After I saw it the first time, I didn’t quite know what I had just witnessed, but I knew it was cool.
Night Watch will probably be very challenging for those of us who grew up watching movies like the Terminator and Die Hard, but it’s well worth the effort. I had to watch it twice before I really “got it”, but I know I’m already hooked. It may not be my favorite movie of all time, but it’s a nice snack when you get tired of the American cheese. That is why I’m giving it a four out of five.

PS: DON’T WATCH THE DUBBED VERSION! WATCH THE SUBTITLES! You must watch the subtitles for two reasons. 1) As all true movie buffs will tell you, it’s just better that way, and 2) Night Watch features animated subtitles that are actually affected by the scenery around it. For instance, there is a scene where all the words turn into blood that dissolves into water. Save for one or two instances where it becomes difficult to read, it makes for a really cool experience that really adds to the movie.

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Law Mans Acommin’

I just thought I’d follow up one of Jon’s blog entries and throw my hat in on the police rant. When I went to work today, as I was getting out of my car, a cop pulled up and just started watching me. I was standing there with my door still open when he came up. You know how it is. You don’t want to go to work, so you check over your car about a million times. But I don’t know if he thought I was going through someone else’s car or what, but he just sat there and stared at me. And he didn’t pull away until well after I had already gone up the covered back stars. I guess it didn’t help that I was wearing all black (which should be no surprise considering I work at a movie theatre) and my trench coat. (which should also come as no surprise because it’s cold out.) Throw in my long hair and I guess I have deviant written all over me.
I know it’s not that big of a deal. All he did was watch and make sure I got inside, but it was very unnerving. Also, I really don’t appreciate the general feeling of distrust. I’m a law abiding citizen who votes and pays his taxes, yet I was still eyed like I was some two bit hood. And where was this schmuck when my CD player got stolen out of my car in the very same parking lot a while back? Apparently the dude had enough time to pry the faceplate off of my dashboard (you know, instead of hitting the button.), but I had better beeline my way inside or else. I mean, I swear to you, there is a known drug dealer that lives a block away from my house. All kinds of shit is going on in that house and everyone knows it. And, when it’s warm, we have our cars broken into about once a month and there’s nothing they can do about it. But the po-po’s going to harass me because I happen to think I look sharp in black. Where’s Ice T when you need ‘em?
Like I said, though, I know I’m overreacting, but it just pissed me off this morning.

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Hannibal Rising v. Bad Twin

A couple of weeks ago, I finished reading “Hannibal Rising”, the latest novel by Thomas Harris. I tried desperately to write a review for it, but I could never quite capture the words I wanted to say. Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit that the latest novel to feature Hannibal Lecter, one of my favorite literary/cinematic characters of all time, was mediocre at best.
Then, just today, I finished reading the book “Bad Twin”. If you’re a LOST fan, you may recognize it as the manuscript Sawyer was reading near the end of the second season. (I believe Hurley may have read it as well.)
It may sound odd, but to really discuss either, I feel like I must compare the two. They are both very much alike except for them being completely different. (Read Bad Twin and that will make perfect sense.) The Hannibal Saga and LOST are both eerie modern mystery stories that have transcended their original medium to developed cult status, not to mention my everlasting devotion. But as I hungrily devour the latest clues found on the Island , I fear that the good doctor may have lost his way.
Thomas Harris is smarter then you. He’s classier then you. He knows this and he’s going to remind you at every opportunity. He’s going to drop names of painters you’ve never heard of and famous landmarks in Europe you’ll never see on every page and he may even throw a few foreign languages at you. It was fun at first, back in Red Dragon and the Silence of the Lambs, when Hannibal would loftily quote Robert Blake poems to frustrate whichever detective he was toying with at the moment. But Hannibal Rising reads like a museum tour guide with all the charm of an official legal document. I learned after finishing the book that Harris was writing the screenplay for the movie at the same time he was writing the book and it really shows. With little to no insight into the character’s heads, ‘Rising’ become a transcript of the storyboards.
It’s even worse for us hardcore Hannibal fans as this book sticks out of the series like a sore thumb. The title character isn’t even himself. I don’t want to give anything away, but this book seeks to explain what drove Hannibal over the edge. The only problem is that his first batch of killings is completely justifiable. Harris seems to have forgotten that Hannibal Lecter is a serial killer. No matter how many fans he has, he is a bad guy who dose bad things. And when it’s all over and done, you see absolutely no reason for him to kill again nor any indication that he will. If you had never seen or read anything else having to do with Lecter, you would have no idea what he would become. Also, there is no question of “who the killer is” in this book. The reason they give for not imprisoning Hannibal is dubious at best and it creates a plot hole down the line when you start to wonder why it took the FBI so long to capture him when he was already a renowned killer before ever entering the country.
I know I’ve been pretty harsh on it, but it’s not an entirely bad story. It’s actually a decent enough read after you’ve gotten into it. It’s just not worthy of Hannibal’s legacy.
Bad Twin is almost the complete opposite. Many would call it an “easy read”, but I think of it more as “approachable”. The words just seemed to roll right off the pages and into my brain as I burned through it. For a book created for a television show, it is surprisingly clever but it never gets too wrapped up in itself. You don’t even have to be a LOST fan to enjoy it, though it dose give an entire new depth if you are. The book exist outside the LOST universe, so don’t expect to see Kate or Charley to make any cameos, but it is nevertheless loaded down with references for the LOSTies.
Bad Twin is about a detective who’s hired by a rich young man looking for his lost identical twin. A simple missing person case soon turns sinister as the detective finds the rich man’s family has a number of dark secrets, some of them even worth killing for.
Much to my surprise, I ended up liking Bad Twin much more then Hannibal Rising. Hannibal Rising may have it outclassed, but Bad Twin is simply more fun to read. And, in the end, isn’t that was really matters?

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Heroes Returns

It’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I must confess, the opposite was true for me and NBC’s “Heroes”. During its break, I found myself only remembering the bad. Those nagging little problems like Mohinder’s constant “I believe you, you’re crazy, I believe you, you’re crazy” cycle, Peter’s whining about being special, and the giant anti-climax that was Sylar. (Seriously, you bash us over the head with “Save the Cheerleader, save the world” for months only for him to be drugged and black bagged in, like, two seconds.) When I sat down to watch the tape my brother recorded for me this evening, I fully expected to not like it.
It wasted no time, however, in reminding me of all the things I liked. I don’t know if it was because I had lowered my expectations so much, or if maybe it had something to do with the critics starting to get over the “new show smell” and pointing out the cracks causing the show’s creators to tighten things up a bit, or if it was just the natural progression of the story, but tonight’s episode was even better then any of the ones I remember from before the break. The Heroes are FINALLY coming together for real (as opposed to random passings or short chance encounters.) with only the exception of Nicky/Jessica and the psychic cop. (I’m eager for the cop to really enter the mix, but I’ve long ago grown weary of Nicky.)
Now that I have it back in my system, I can’t wait to get my next Heroes fix. (Hmm, I just got a sudden urge to draw a picture of the future…)

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New Lightsaber: UPDATE

I made a slight change to my most recent lightsaber. As per the instructions, I originally tried to glue the emitter on, but it didn’t seem to want to hold. So, after some brainstorming and a little bit of tinkering around, I found a way that I could bolt it on. Now, it’s just as, if not more so, secure as anything else on there. (Now only the pommel is weak, but I’m not even worried about that.) It did change the look ever so slightly, so I figured I’d show you some new pictures.

Oh, I also made one more tiny change. With a little bit an ingenuity I got it to work.

Seriously, I’ve been working on my “lightsaber effects” skills on GIMP. I’m having a lot of fun playing with this. I’m still working on the glow cast on objects around it, though. Anyway, to show you my progress, check out a test pic I did below. The original picture comes from an old Adventure Con gallery I found (More on Adventure Con soon!) but I don’t know the guy’s names. If they should happen upon my manip, hope you like it.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

BEFORE

AFTER

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It’s dangerous to go alone…

Found this cool website that allows you to create your own “You got an item” scene from “the Legend of Zelda”. Here’s one I did: LINK (Pun not intended. lol.)

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Firefox Problems

I just had to restart the computer and when I had it all up and running again, Firefox had lost all of my settings and bookmarks.Oh, man, this sucks.

UPDATE: Haha! I was able to at least recover my bookmarks!

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The Boondock Saints: Purgatory

I have a lot of friends who share my love for movies with taste ranging all over the board. As such, I end up with a lot of “assignments”. Eventually, we all force each other to watch our favorite movies and then, in turn, watch theirs. Sometimes this opens me up to amazing films that I might not have discovered on my own, such as when Jon showed me Vanilla Sky. Other times, I end up quietly resenting the person who subjected me to this dreck, such was the case when I was tricked into watching “The Waking Life”.
My most recent assignment came from a couple of coworkers down at the theatre. My mission: Watch “The Boondock Saints”. Even after buying my own copy, however, I still found myself always putting it off. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it. My friend’s description always sounded pretty cool, but I have a tendency to rebel against these recommendations. I don’t like being forced to do anything, so the more people pressure me, the more I put it off. Finally, though, I reached my breaking point and watched the movie.
Boondock Saints isn’t especially bad. It’s really just not that good. Certainly not up to the hype my friends put on it. In the end, I mostly found it to be a poor man’s Tarantino film. It tells the story of two brothers who kill some mafia soldiers in self-defense who are then emboldened to continue killing “bad guys” in a quest to rid the world of crime. Imagine the Punisher played by the Lucky Charms leprecon x2 and you basically have it. I can appreciate the idea, but there are times when the plot seems to be no more then a line to connect extravagant scenes of violence and gore. It’s all style with little substance. There are even a few plot points, especially one big twist near the end, that just seem so out of left field that you can’t help but wonder if you missed something. And there are more holes in the plot then most of the thugs at the end of the movie.
Still, it’s not all bad. It has a few brushes with dark comedy that almost make you wish they had just taken it one step further and embraced what it truly was. Also, when I say that it’s all style and no substance, you can’t forget that style is a good thing, too. If you can dial down your brain a little and overlook the lack of substance, it could be quite entertaining. Also, Willem “Green (Power Rangers Reject) Goblin” Dafoe, who is brilliant in just about everything I’ve ever seen him in, plays an over-the-top FBI agent and has so much fun in the role that he ends up really stealing the entire movie.
So, in the end, I don’t really have much to say about this movie. I know I’m going to be shouted down next time I go into work and tell them that it was overrated. It’s not a sinner, it’s not a saint, but just to be sure, I’m giving it two Hail Mary’s out of five.

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Seeing Stars

Found a cool web site that tells you which celebrities you most look like.

So, apparently, I look like a Russian chess player, a Ghostbuster, a Japanese film writer, a Russian general responsible for massacring people, and the fat guy from Jurassic Park. Yay?

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New And Improved

I decided recently to change at least the tagline for my blog. As I’ve stated before, the “Shakespeare” line came from Nextwave, which only has one issue left, meaning that an already obscure joke was about to become even more unappreciated. I also decided to change the look of my blog because the bright green was getting to be too much. (Green is my favorite color, that’s why I went with it in the first place, but I prefer dark green.) And, as log as I had gone that far, I decided to go the rest of the way by updating my links and changing the main title of the page. What was once “Here I Come To Save The Day” (A title I, honestly, was never super thrilled about) is now “Calling All Geeks”, and the new tagline is “Does Whatever A Fanboy Can.” (I’d like to see them TRY to cancel Spider-man.)
Hope you all like the changes.

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