Calling All Geeks!

Today, I picked up the official game to the Transformers movie. I was shocked, because the game itself was a Transformer. It started off as an average game disk, but after I put it in my Wii, it transformed into horse shit!

I could only play this game for about fifteen minutes before the frustration was too overwhelming for me to continue. First of all, there was no tutorial for the controls. This wouldn’t be so bad if I was playing it on anything other then the Wii. But as the Wii has such unique controls, we need more then one of those over complicated stat screens that’s a picture of the controller with about a million lines coming off of every button and going every which way. Your average Wii game (or, at least, of the ones I’ve played so far.) will have a level or two that’s just ‘jump’, ‘punch that guy’, ‘dodge 5 attacks’, ect. It might not be very exciting right away, but it’s necessary for later when you get into the real meat of the game.

Also, the camera is very tricky. I had to guess my way and swing blindly through my first fight because the camera decided that I should be watching Bumblebee’s crotch. I swear to the All Spark, I had robot junk fill my TV for five minutes as I try the Helen Keller approach to killing giant robots.

I’m only talking about the robot aspect, though. After all, it wouldn’t really be Transformers without the vehicles right?

Unfortunately, this aspect was equally disappointing. I guess someone made a mistake on the last trip to the gas station because my car was apparently filled with jet fuel. As a car, you have two speeds: snail and hyper warp drive. Even this could have been fun if the city wasn’t so cluttered. Now, I’ve never been great at driving games, but I couldn’t go five feet without ramming into something. Not to mention the fact that sharp turns were nearly impossible. This is deadly when you’re on a timed mission to stop half a dozen Decepticons who all seem to be on opposite ends of the city.

As far as any positive, the graphics were pretty good. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been playing Spider-man 3 (which had TERRIBAL graphics.) for a couple of weeks now, but the visuals seemed really good for the Wii. Also, transforming was easy and fun to do. (Good thing, too, considering all the times I had to transform out of car mode simply to turn around.)

I can only recommend this game to the most hard core Transformer fans, and STILL I think I’d only recommend a rental. I, myself, will probably try to trade in my Wii version for a PS2 version. Hopefully I’ll enjoy it more with slightly more traditional controls

I got two new posters from work yesterday. No matter how many problems I have at work, that is one silver lining that I can always rely on. It’s always a huge thrill to get these posters. And we have a new guy doing it now and he’s made some cool changes. Now, the last guy was great, (We’re missing you already, Chris!) but I like some of the changes. For instance, I probably shouldn’t have the posters I got yesterday because they’re both for a movie that hasn’t come out yet. As such, I’d better not say what I got, but let me just say that I’ll be sure to PROTECT them. I most certainly won’t DESTROY them. In fact, you could say they’ve really TRANSFORMED my collection.

But, you know, I’d better not say what I got …

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Dude, I got a set of Transformers posters!!!

From the very first time I saw it, I was a big fan of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. For those of you who’ve never heard of MST3K… what the Hell is wrong with you? It was one of the greatest shows ever made! A man and his robot puppets in space making fun of bad movies! What’s not to love? For the love of God, go buy the DVD’s! Anyway, it’s been a rocky relationship, I must admit. I enjoyed the last few seasons on Comedy Central, suffered the heartbreak when it was canceled, reveled when it was announced that the Sci-Fi Channel was picking it up, saddened as Sci-Fi put more and more restrictions on it, and finally, faced heartache once more when my beloved show was canceled a second time. This time, the cancellation stuck and fans were left with only their old tapes and DVDs to sustain them.

Or so we though…

Alas, the MST3K we all knew and loved truly seems to be gone for good, but a spiritual successor has arisen right under our noses. In 2006, Michael J. Nelson, the second (and my personal favorite) host of MST3K created a web site called RiffTrax, in which you can purchase and download audio commentaries that you can play along with DVDs that follows the same riffing style as MST3K. It works much like a podcast that you play along while watching a movie. (In fact, many podcast indeed HAVE done this already. We’ve even discussed doing in on Wertham’s Bane.) Nelson is the only consistently featured rifer, but many other former cast members make appearances on several “episodes”. Each “riff” cost about $3 and you do have to provide the DVD yourself, but it’s a small, small price to pay because, in addition to my old favorite show being back, they now have free reign on what they riff. MST3K was limited to old B-movies due to budget constraints. (They couldn’t afford the rights to anything recent or memorable.) But now, as they’re releasing the riffs independently of the actual movie, they can do whatever they want. For instance, they have already taken on two Star Wars movies (Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones), as well as the Matrix, the Fifth Element, the Fellowship of the Ring (understandably for a dollar more then other riffs), and many, many more. And they aren’t even limited to movies! Though films are the main focus, major episodes of a few notable television shows have also faced the riffing treatment, including one particular show set on an island that you may be familiar with.

So far, I’ve only downloaded one riff (The two-part pilot for LOST), but it is freakin’ HILARIOUS! (I will never look at Locke the same again!) I’m currently downloading one for X-Men and I’m already trying to decide which to download next. I’m even considering buying movies (used copies, of course) that I never would have bought otherwise simply because I want to see it riffed on.
So, check it out. It doesn’t matter if you’re an old school MSTie or even if you’ve never heard of it (but, seriously, what’s your problem?) there is something for everybody.

Batman’s new suit for “Batman: The Dark Knight” has just been revealed. I should hate this. I’ve always hated the rubber suits they use in the movies ever since the original Tim Burton movie. (I still maintain that a comic-accurate fabric costume would work if you got someone in better shape then Adam West.) This suit is overly complicated and it strays far away from the comics. Like I said, I really SHOULD hate this. And yet …

This is freakin’ AWESOME! I can not wait to see this movie!

… was easily having to go back to “normal” afterwards. I had work the day after we got back and it has been nearly non-stop ever since. And, man I tell you, it has been a real bitch lately. On my very first day back, the very first thing our GM says to me is that he’s been noticing scratches on the film lately and that I need to watch it. I tell ya, I know I’m good, but to scratch up film while I’m in another state? I’m even better at screwing up then I thought! Seriously, I’m away for four days and something you noticed within that time is my fault? I’m really sick of that shit being blamed on me. I swear it’s all the head projectionist’s fault. In one breath, he’ll blame me for scratching up film and in the next he’ll mock me for going so “slow” when threading and brag about how fast he is. Huh, so you rush though it while I take my time and double check everything. Yeah, I’m obviously the one causing problems. And things just got better when I learned that we were getting two new platter systems. It was good because we were replacing our five-tier which has been acting up a lot lately. Unfortunately, we just had to do it in the most difficult way possible. Instead of just replacing the five-tier with the two new three-tiers, we decided to put the new ones on three and four and move those platters to seven and eight where the five-tier was. (I realize this is making no since to anyone who doesn’t work at my theatre, but trust me, it was a huge, unnecessary pain in my ass.) And things got tense when I almost made our tech cry. The man is older then Yoda and about as good with electronics as an Ewok, but I guess he’s friends with the owner, so we keep going back to him no matter how much things break down. Well, apparently, he’s on so-called “happy pills” now, and it’s causing him to have mood swings. At one point, he’s unthreading a projector, which is admittedly annoying, and I suggest an easier way of doing it. I’m always looking for a way to make things simpler and I had developed a trick that made unthreading a lot easier. He reacts by throwing the film in the floor and saying “Go ahead and do it however you want. I’ve only been doing this for 30 years, but I guess you know better then me.” The whole time his voice is quivering like he’s about to start bawling. So, to please him, we ended up doing it his way and it only took us two or three times as long as it would have if we had done it my way. And then there is the schedule, both for work and for the movies. I apparently had to make up for my time off with interest because they really stuck it to me. I did get a few days off, but they were really spread out. Meanwhile, the head projectionist got his in nice big chunks. I mean, for crying out loud, my birthday was on the fourth and I’m just now celebrating it today. And the movie schedule has been equally kind. We normally have three sets on weekdays and four on the weekend. But, lately, any movie under 100 minutes is getting an extra show crammed in. Now, we’re working more or less constantly. It’s kind of funny. They had always used our downtime to justify not giving us a break. Now that we don’t have downtime anymore, I wonder if we’ll start getting breaks. (Yeah, I’m just kidding.) And as long as we have Pirates of the Caribbean, we’re having 11 weekdays and 13 hour weekend days.

Yeah, things at the theatre have kind of sucked lately. It’s okay, though. I will have the last laugh. Mark my words. It’s just a mater of time…

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Um, yeah, it just occurred to me how bad that sounds. Just for the record, I’m not planning anything illegal. Please don’t sue my ass.

Well, I’m almost two weeks late, but here it is: My Adventure Con review. (Hey, better late then never, right? And, hey, when I write, I really, really write!)

I guess it all really started on Thursday. I spent most of the day finishing my packing and such and then, in the evening, I went over to Jon’s house to wrap up last minute planning. I was able to finally meet Brian in person as Jon finished up his Mandalorian costume. He also gave me the final part of my Hurley costume: Dharma Ranch Dressing! Very cool. We decided that we were going to try to leave by 6 so that we could be there in time for William Mapother’s (Ethan Rom from LOST) fan panel which was at 2 on Friday. With that in mind, I went home and went to bed early. Oh, before I went to bed, though, I think I may have received a message from God blessing the trip. Being that my main costume for the weekend was Hurley and that one of the things I was most looking forward to was meeting Ethan Rom, LOST was obviously going to be a big part of the con for me. Well, just before going to bed, I turned on the TV to G4 which shows Star Trek: TNG reruns. I was just going to watch a little bit to relax when who should appear as their special guest? Playing Riker’s former captain was none other then Terry “John Locke” O’Quinn. I figured the odds of such a thing happening had to be steep, so I knew right then that this weekend was destined to be great.

Waking up was kind of funny in a way. On my normal day when I get up at 10, it’s all I can do to just get up and not hit the snooze button. Yet, with my alarm set to 4:30, I was up and getting ready like a flash. I ended up with a lot of time to just sit and do nothing, though. I know I was just excited, but at the time it felt like nerves and, let me tell you, reheated Pizza Hut is not good for an upset stomach. But, finally, Brian and Jon arrived and we loaded up my stuff and we were off. It was a pretty cool trip down to Tennessee. I got to know Brian a little better. (It had been a little too hectic the night before to really meet him.) Finally, we made it down and got to our hotel. It was about 1:30 when we got in, but I knew that by the time we checked in and everything, it was unlikely I would be able to make it to the fan panel. Oh, well. We did get to go over to the con and explore the place a bit. Lots of cool stuff to see. Met some interesting people. Some more “interesting” then others. (If you were there, you know what I mean. If you weren’t there, it defies description.) Then we hit up some parties and went back to the hotel.

As I expected, Saturday was the big “main event”. Dressed in my Hurley costume, I headed over to the con to get tickets to have my picture taken with William Maypother. That took forever. (Totally the Con people’s fault. Who forgets to bring freakin’ change when your selling something?) It probably wasn’t as bad as it seemed, but Brian and Jon were both waiting on me back at the hotel to help them put on their Mandalorian costumes and they had a picture early in the morning, so it was a race against the clock. I didn’t want to let them down, but I HAD to get my ticket then. Finally, I was able to get my ticket and get back to the hotel. Helping them with their armor was quite awkward, but it was also educational, in a way. I knew I wanted to do Mando armor eventually, and helping them with theirs gave me a new insight into how it all goes together. We did have some issues with Jon’s knee armor, but we were able to get them to the Con just in time for pictures. It was amazing to see so many Mandalorians together all at once. We walked around for a little bit, but we didn’t get very far as they were stopped every few feet to have their picture taken. Now, going into this, I expected to be completely overlooked. I mean, they’re freakin’ Mandalorians and I’m a fat guy in a green shirt with a flag and fake tub of ranch dressing. So, from the very start, I was feeling kind of rejected. This didn’t last long at all, however. At one point, when they were having their picture taken, someone approached me to take my picture! I was psyched. I’ve only ever dressed for a Con once before, and it was really small, so this was the very first time I was ever stopped like this. And as the day went on, it continued. I was actually being recognized! I couldn’t believe it. Now, it wasn’t nearly as much as Jon and Brian, but I was honored all the same. Also, one of the people who stopped me informed me that William Mapother’s panel had been rescheduled to today!

Anyway, the three of us separated a little bit after the Mando picture. There was a big wedding that afternoon that all three of us had originally planned to go to, but it turned out to conflict with my Ethan pic and his panel, so I decided to skip it. I wandered around a bit, taking in the sights, buying some cool stuff. Finally, the time came for my picture. I go over there and I get in line. The pictures were supposed to start at 1:00 with another celebrity scheduled to start at 1:15. So, when 1:15 rolled around and we still hadn’t started, I was getting pretty nervous. Finally, though, things got rolling and the line started to move. Now, I head overheard Maphother talking a bit before we started. Initially, he sounded a bit … I don’t know. Diva-ish, I guess. He made some sort of remark about the camera set up (“Should I be worried that you have the instruction manual sitting out?”) and I got kind of worried that this guy might turn out to be a jerk. When I got in the tent where they were taking the pics, though, he turned out to be extremely friendly. (I realized later that the photo guys were pretty amateurish, so if he even was really ticked – and not just joking around – he would have been completely justified.) He took one look at my costume and said “Now, HERE is a REAL fan.” He then noticed the ranch dressing and seemed tickled over that. “You even have your Dharma gear!” I just about lost it.

After the picture, I was told I could pick it up and have it signed in about an hour. So, I hung out a bit and went to Mapother’s panel. Once again, I was struck by how friendly the guy was. It was a Q&A type thing and he treated every question with the utmost respect. Even when a little kid (like, 3 or 4 maybe) asked him what his favorite holiday was, where as most celebrities would either ignore it or give a one word answer, he actually took a moment to actually consider it and give an in-depth answer complete with reasons and such. And his stories were very entertaining. He discussed everything from LOST, to his movies, to his family (He is apparently a first cousin with Tom Cruse.), to his thoughts on the acting industry. (It was really refreshing to hear an actor reject the decadence that’s become so prominent in Hollywood these days.)

After that, I grabbed my photo and headed back to his table. Once again, he commented on my costume and wrote an awesome note on the photo. As I walked away, I was just beaming.

A while after that, I hooked back up with Jon and Brian, who had ditched the Mando armor after the wedding. We hung out some more before heading back to the hotel. We relaxed there for a while before going out for dinner with a few of our friends. All and all, it was an awesome day.

Sunday was mostly wrapping up stuff before the Con ended. I wore my Jedi costume, but it didn’t get much attention. (Other then Anthony Daniels, AKA: C3P0, AKA: A Gay Man’s Golden Fantasy, avoiding me at an elevator.) There was some big local wrestling event going on which was mildly amusing. You know how it all looks fake on TV? Well, it looks REALLY fake in person. The afternoon took a slight downturn, however, as everyone began to leave. At one point, the three of us sat out on the Hilton’s patio and I was really stuck at how “normal” things had become. Suddenly, there were no more Mandalorians or Ron Glass in his underwear getting locked out of his hotel room. It was the moment that I realized that it was all really over. I took solace, however, in the knowledge that it’s been all but confirmed that we’ll be doing it again next year.

It’s really hard to sum up the whole experience in words. I’ve told you about the events and some of the people, but you really can’t describe the feelings of comradery and the since of belonging. It’s kind of like Mid-Ohio-Con in that you really just have to be there to get the full effect. As cheesy as it sounds, there really is something special about these events. It’s really great.

Well, I guess Mid-Ohio-Con in November is next. I already can’t wait.

Click HERE for some cool AdCon pics!

I know I still need to post my thoughts on AdventureCon. (Super short version: it was AWESOME!) I promise I’ll try to post that soon. Work has just been a real bitch lately, so I haven’t had much free time and, what I do have, I’m too exhausted to write. I just wanted to say I haven’t forgotten about it and I’ll try to have that up soon.